why didn't you poke me back
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just had sex on a roof
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
