like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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