Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
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Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize