A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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