Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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