do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
