Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ketchup is God's man juice
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
