I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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