I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The Olympian is in my bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
