no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
