It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
