We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize