what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
