Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the condom got lost in my hair
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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