Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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