You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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