If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
