I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
