It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
