just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
