I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
