Your tits are I can't wait for
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
