do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
