So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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