He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
