the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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