You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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