wanna go halves on a baby?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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