He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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