the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
