its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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