Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Less talking, more tequila
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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