I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i now understand why vodka
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
