I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my being single is dangerous.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
