You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
