Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
