Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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