The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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