i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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