we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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