scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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