no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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