So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
