You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
