I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
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I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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