I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
