I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
