He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
