Where did you get a picture of my penis
where am i from again
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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