I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
