I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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