It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
