If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize