And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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