Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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