I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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