i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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