allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
