Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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