she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize