apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
