What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
