I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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