is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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