Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
