This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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